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Reviews: ‘Chappie,’ ‘Unfinished Business’

'Chappie'  (Sony Pictures)

“Chappie” (R) 1 star (out of four)

There’s no other way of putting it: “Chappie” is crappie.

After a brilliant debut with the Best Picture Oscar nominee “District 9” and the sharp downward turn with the preachy, universal health care polemic “Elysium,” writer-director Neill Blomkamp has sunk to even deeper depths with “Chappie” – a ridiculous artificial intelligence action thriller that makes the sci-fi disaster “Transcendence” look, well, intelligent.

While the film’s trailers and TV spots highlight such A-listers as Hugh Jackman and Sigourney Weaver, the true star of “Chappie” turns out being the voice and motion-capture movement of Sharlto Copley, the lead in “District 9” and bad guy opposite Matt Damon in “Elysium.” Set in the near future in Johannesburg, South Africa (the same setting as “District 9”), the streets are policed by robots invented by  Deon (Dev Patel), a young scientist on the verge of creating artificial intelligence.

When Deon finally cracks the AI code, he uploads the technology into a damaged robot (Copley), only to lose control of the now sentient being to a small gang of thugs looking to gain the upper hand on police and other criminals. Standing in their way, though, is Vincent (Jackman), a driven rival robot developer who will go to extreme lengths to put into play “The Moose,” a larger and much more lethal brand of law enforcement.

The sad part about “Chappie” is that Blomkamp wastes Patel, Jackman (in a supporting role) and Weaver (in a small role as the profits-driven CEO of the robotics company) in favor of South African rave-rappers Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser (of the group Die Antwoord), who dreadfully overact in their major roles as two of three gang members who educate the very impressionable Chappie in the ways of gang life and hip-hop slang.  And while Chappie at first leaves you feeling sorry for him in his infantile stages, by the time he quickly grows into an “adult” and starts swaggering around with bling around his neck, talking trash, shooting a gun sideways and grabbing his robotic crotch, the movie becomes laugh-out-loud funny, but in a bad way.

Half-heartedly  using the formula of “District 9,” and borrowing inspiration from “Short Circuit” and the original, classic 1987 version of “RoboCop” (Chappie in a sort of way mimics RoboCop, while The Moose is clearly ED-209), “Chappie’s” fatal flaw comes with Blomkamp’s decision to make the sentient robot his protagonist, instead of focusing on the dangers of artificial intelligence.  The movie is just a jumbled mess. At first, Blomkamp seems to satirize the gang-banger culture, only to eventually pander to and glorify it, as if he somehow hopes we’ll identify with a robot as a street thug merely because he’s developed feelings.  There’s a weakened battery that’s keeping Chappie “alive” throughout the course of the film, and it doesn’t die out quick enough.

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Reviewed in brief:

“Unfinished Business” (R) 1 star (out of four)

Vince Vaughn leads a trio of struggling businessmen who travel overseas in a desperate bid to score a deal that will save their small company. The outcome is predictable from the get-go, and in between, we’re treated to 90 minutes of one horribly unfunny scenario after the other. Vaughn and his co-stars Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco are talented enough, but the actors – along with James Marsden, Nick Frost and Sienna Miller in supporting roles – are totally wasted here. “Unfinished Business” is a movie that had no business being made.

Tim Lammers is a veteran entertainment reporter and a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association, and annually votes on the Critics Choice Movie Awards. Locally, he reviews films for “KARE 11 News at 11” and various Minnesota radio stations.

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Movie reviews: ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ ‘Sponge Out of Water,’ ‘Seventh Son’

Mila Kunis in 'Jupiter Rising'

“Jupiter Ascending” (PG-13) 1 1/2 stars (out of four)

The Wachowski siblings are shooting for the stars, quite literally, with the new sci-fi epic “Jupiter Ascending,” but 15 years after the glory of the first film in their “Matrix” trilogy, the writer-director siblings have misfired again in their bid to capture the imaginations of moviegoers.

“Jupiter Ascending,” which comes out about six months after its initial scheduled release date of July 2014, was supposed to, in that time, complete the film’s complex special effects sequences, and that seems plausible because the visuals are no doubt spectacular. Unofficially, you have to believe the Wachoswkis were asked to fix their convoluted narrative, and to that end, it’s clear they didn’t budge.

Channing Tatum dons Spock ears to play Caine, a genetically engineered space warrior who travels to Earth to save Jupiter (Mila Kunis), the daughter of a Russian immigrant who makes a humble living as a housekeeper in Chicago. Turns out Jupiter is the reincarnation of the late matriarch of a royal space family that’s been around thousands of years, and she’s desperately needed to stop a power struggle between three of her intergalactic children, Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) and Titus (Douglas Booth). At stake is Earth, one of the many planets owned by the royals, and the time is coming soon where the inhabitants of the planet will be harvested for their needs.

Interview: Sean Bean talks Wachowskis, ‘Jupiter Ascending’

An overly ambitious space opera hoping to create a new mythology for moviegoers desperate for originality, “Jupiter Ascending” might have had a better chance at success had it been a miniseries that took the time for some world building to tell us who is who and what their motivations are. Instead, the Wachowskis jam as much as they can into the film’s 127-minute run-time (on top of the royal brats, there are various races and creatures that inhabit the galaxy), giving the moviegoer little chance to process just what the heck is going on.

Perhaps the biggest mistake of “Jupiter Ascending” comes with casting of Kunis in the title role. Completely void of any emotion, Kunis – who looks stunning in the film – is simply a bore. That’s not to say she can’t act – she’s great in romantic comedies – but in the sci-fi genre, she’s clearly unequipped, even though there’s a romance brewing between Jupiter and Caine. Tatum doesn’t fare much better as Caine (I’m still trying to figure out why studios are fascinated with him), and the Wachowskis would have been better served with a more seasoned actor.

Thankfully, Sean Bean brings his veteran charisma as Stinger, a former enforcement partner of Caine’s, but he only appears in a supporting role. “Theory of Everything” Oscar nominee Redmayne is given the villain role as the most tyrannical  of the three royals, but his bizarre, whispery delivery ultimately borders on high camp. The movie’s a tremendous disappointment.

“The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” (PG) 2 stars (out of four)

Call it a bait-and-switch at Bikini Bottom: The real title of the second “SpongeBob Movie” should be, “Sponge Out of Water for About 15 Minutes.”

The loveable, absorbent Nickelodeon cartoon character is back for his second big-screen go-round, and while charming, “Sponge Out of Water” mostly feels like an extended TV episode. The plot is paper-thin: Chumbucket proprietor and SpongeBob (voice of Tom Kenny) rival Plankton (Mr. Lawrence) devises a plan to steal the secret recipe of the tasty burger, the Krabby Patty, from Krusty’s Krabs, until the document containing all the ingredients vanishes without a trace.

After SpongeBob and Plankton form an unlikely alliance to search for the recipe through the use of a time-travel machine, the pair, along with Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), Sandy Cheeks (Carolyn Lawrence) and Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) emerge from the sea to discover where the recipe ended up.

There’s nothing really remarkable about the film, apart from a funny, live-action appearance throughout by Antonio Banderas as the scheming pirate Burger Beard; and SpongeBob and company appearing on in computer-generated form on land. The problem is, the CGI versions of the characters don’t appear until an hour into the 90-minute film, where you realize that the whole hubbub about the yellow and porous character being “out of water” is pretty much a scam. The CGI land scenes are easily the best in the movie, and you can’t help but feel short-changed because there isn’t a whole lot more of it.

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“Seventh Son” (PG-13) 2 1/2 stars (out of four)

Finally emerging as a release from Universal Pictures after lingering at Warner Bros. for some time, “Seventh Son” clearly won’t win any awards, even though it stars an Oscar winner and odd-on favorite at this year’s Academy Awards. And while the premise is hardly original, the medieval fantasy is a winner in the genre because it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Jeff Bridges stars in “Seventh Son” as Master Gregory, the last of 1,000 Spooks, a group of skilled warriors tasked with containing witches and all other forms of evil. But no Spook can do their job alone, so they have an apprentice accompany them in their quest to keep humans safe. After Gregory’s latest apprentice (Kit Harrington) meets his untimely fate, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes), the so-called “Seventh Son of the Seventh Son,” is recruited by the aging do-gooder to help battle the all-powerful Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), who is close to casting the world under a cloud of doom. Turns out young Ward has a history that may hold the key to defeating Malkin and her ilk.

Anytime a film lingers on the shelf as long as “Seventh Son” does, it usually spells disaster. But truth be told, for what it is, “Seventh Son” works. Sure, it feels like “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” and “Snow White and the Huntsman,” and even at times seems to possess the charm of a Ray Harryhausen’s classic flick minus the stop-motion special effects. Instead, the computer-generated effects here are fairly impressive, as Malkin, her witch sister (Antje Traue – Zod’s right hand woman in “Man of Steel”) and other supernatural beings (Djimon Honsou among them) shape-shift into dragons to wreak havoc on the villagers around them.

While Barnes and Alicia Vikander (who plays a young, half-witch who strikes Tom’s fancy) play it straight, the acting by Bridges (doing his best Gandalf impersonation) and Moore (who looks stunning) in “Seventh Son” is over-the-top, but clearly was meant to be that way and is fun as a result. Most critics will no doubt hate “Seventh Son,” but audiences will embrace the movie for its good, old fashioned fantasy movie feel.

Tim Lammers is a veteran entertainment reporter and a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association, and annually votes on the Critics Choice Movie Awards. Locally, he reviews films for “KARE 11 News at 11” and various Minnesota radio stations.

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Movie reviews: ‘Project Almanac,’ ‘Black Sea,’ ‘Black or White’

Project Almanac

“Project Almanac” (PG-13) 2 1/2 stars (out of four)

Get ready to be all shook up by producer Michael Bay’s manic movie “Project Almanac,” the latest offering from MTV Films that puts the shaky in shaky cam. A first-person camera movie (a la “Cloverfield” and “Chronicle”) that’s clearly aimed at the teen demographic, “Project Almanac” would be nearly intolerable if not for its ever-fascinating  narrative about traveling back in time, and the potential repercussions those travels have on the future. In a weird way, “Project Almanac” is like “Back to the Future” with an MTV generation twist.

Jonny Weston stars as David Raskin, a brainiac Atlanta high school senior on a course to attend MIT, only if he can come up with the money to attend the prestigious institution. Looking for ideas for a scholarship presentation while rummaging through the family attic, David discovers a video from his 7th birthday party where an image of his current-day self appears in a mirror.

Investigating the bizarre occurrence, David discovers his dad worked for a secret government program and was developing a machine to make time travel possible. Together with his science nerd friends (Sam Lerner and Allen Evangelista), his sister (Amy Landecker) and the girl of his dreams (Sofia Black-D’Elia), David figures out how to make the “second chance machine” work, which enables the group to travel back in time.

But as the group discovers, the more they jump back and forth in time, the more their actions alter future events, sometimes with deadly results. Worse yet, any attempts to fix what they’ve done by going back in time again only creates other problems.

Naturally, “Project Almanac” is predictable insofar as we know that messing with history is bound to backfire on the teens. The great thing is, we have no idea how. While the narrative as a whole is a stretch, “Project Almanac” is entertaining as long as you sit back and enjoy the and ride and don’t let the movie’s inconsistencies drive you crazy.

Even though the film features a cast of unknowns and perpetually nauseous camera movements, the always spellbinding concept of time travel and rewriting history makes “Project Almanac” a worthwhile trip. The whole idea of documenting the events of the film on a smart phone video feels fitting for today’s tech-savvy generation, and the mind-bending concept is enough to hold everybody else’s attention.

While the presentation of “Project Almanac” is less than desirable, there are far worse ways to spend a couple of hours.

Reviewed in brief:

“Black Sea” (R) 3 stars (out of four)

Jude Law gives a commanding performance in “Black Sea,” a dark and gritty submarine thriller that will undoubtedly test the limits of claustrophobic moviegoers. Law stars as Robinson, a hard-nosed Scottish sub captain unceremoniously discarded by his employer after 11 dedicated years on the job. Before too long, though, Robinson is approached by a shady financier to command a bucket of bolts to the dangerous depths of the Black Sea, where rumored to be buried on a ridge is a Nazi U-boat that contains $20 million in gold.

With everyone promised an equal cut of the profit, the submarine soon turns into an underwater deathtrap as crewmembers contemplate killing one another to effectively get a bigger slice of the loot. But as vessel becomes damaged and the shocking plan behind the mission is revealed, the crewmembers have to find a way to put aside their differences if there’s any chance for survival.

Expertly directed by Kevin Macdonald, the great thing about “Black Sea” is that it’s every bit about its deeply flawed characters as it is the intense action scenes that propel the story ahead to its final destination. And while the scenarios get more ridiculous as the film enters its final act — the ending presents the most implausible scenario — “Black Sea,” despite its faults, is a pretty exciting ride.

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“Black or White” (PG-13) 3 stars (out of four)

Kevin Costner stars in and produces “Black or White,” a gutsy family drama that examines race relations in the U.S. through a custody battle for a mixed-race child between her white maternal grandfather (Costner) and black paternal grandmother (Octavia Spencer).

Costner plays Elliot, a successful Los Angeles attorney who, along with his wife (Jennifer Ehle) raised Eloise (Jillian Estelle), after their daughter died in childbirth. But after his wife’s sudden death, Elliot becomes despondent and his drinking problem worsens, so Eloise’s grandmother, Rowena (Spencer) seeks shared custody. The case becomes more intense when the Eloise’s recovering drug addict father (Andre Holland) resurfaces and claims he can now parent her full-time, even though he avoided the responsibility the girl’s entire life.

Interview: Kevin Costner talks “Black or White”

Writer-director Mike Binder unflinchingly dives into a touchy area with “Black or White” as the subject of race enters the court battle, as both sides debate which culture, effectively, would be best for Eloise to be raised in. What follows is a brutally honest discussion of race from both sides of the case, which manages to be effective without being politically correct or preachy.

For as powerful as the subject matter is, “Black or White” is hampered, oddly enough, by the film’s score, which sometimes makes it feel like a Lifetime movie. That’s too bad, because everybody in the film — from Costner and Spencer to Anthony Mackie as Rowena’s brother attorney and comedian Bill Burr in an effective, serious turn as Elliot’s law associate — bring their A-game. Whether you catch “Black or White” in theaters or eventually on the tube, it’s a film that everybody should make a point seeing.

Tim Lammers is a veteran entertainment reporter and a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association, and annually votes on the Critics Choice Movie Awards. Locally, he reviews films for “KARE 11 News at 11” and various Minnesota radio stations.

Reviews: Tim Lammers talks ‘Unbroken,’ ‘Into the Woods’ on KARE-TV, more

Jack O'Connell in 'Unbroken'

Tim reviews the true-life WWII epic “Unbroken” and musical “Into the Woods” on KARE-TV in Minneapolis with Diana Pierce below. Also, you can read Tim’s review on BringMeTheNews.com and hear Tim review the films on The Tom Barnard Podcast and KQRS-FM.

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