“Keanu” (R) 1 star (out of four)
Former Comedy Central sketch comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele (who were unfortunately tasked with following the brilliant Dave Chappelle) make a weak transition to the big screen with “Keanu,” a painfully unfunny buddy comedy about a pair of suburban nerds who pose as fearsome drug dealers in order to get Peele’s stolen kitten back from a street gang.
The kitten – named Keanu – is no doubt cute, but the rest of the film is a flagrant barrage of F-bombs and N-words wrapped up in a juvenile premise that’s somehow supposed to be a parody of actor Keanu Reeves’ hit revenge thriller “John Wick.” Reeves, naturally, makes a cameo as the voice of the kitten when one of the characters slips into a drug-induced haze. Apart from an inspired cameo from actress Anna Faris (playing herself), “Keanu” is a total dud.
Reviews on KQRS-FM, beginning 12 minutes in.
“Green Room” (R) 3 stars (out of four)
“Star Trek” and “X-Men” star Patrick Stewart takes a brilliant career detour to the dark side in “Green Room,” a brutal crime thriller about a down-and-out punk rock band whose members are forced to fend for their lives after they stumble onto a murder scene in the green room at a backwoods Oregon club.
Stewart plays Darcy, the club owner and neo-Nazi leader who orders the hit on the musicians, while Anton Yelchin stars as band’s leader who tries to devise an escape plan. “Green Room” isn’t perfect – the violence is too excessive and there are some silly bits of ill-timed comic relief – but overall, it’s a solid nail-biter.